bruised.

define home,
for me, it is supposed to be the safest place u ll ever feel to be in.

define love,
for me, it is when you'd rather pierce your own heart before his or her.

i know there are worst things that revolve around out there, to be compared, my laments are just me mumbling about things i might know less about. but what if i know the reasons better than them?

they talk about "stop judging people before anything" but instead, they betray their own words. as easy as one to just scream n shout, they make someone their stringed toy n throw whatever it is on their minds. the uglier the words, the funnier the jokes.

so if this gripping black hole stays the same, i'll have to find my own sanctuary because i won't stop believing, that there is something out there meant for me.

messy.

aloha humans n non-humans~

arryte straight to d point without any puns n sheezs
i am officially a paranoid bitch :')
lol d story is, over here it s getting colder n colder by days,
n somehow this bothers me a lot haha mybe cuz it s only autumn now, winter is on its way (just imagine what it is like during the supposed-to-be-the-only-cold-season :O)
n this issue haunted me even till my eyes were closed, i dreamt about it recently :O
like how it is, d blue pale skin, shivering n what not haha too much exaggerations in that freezing dream T____T
n then, otha thing is concerning muh rabbits
this thought of me being a good master always plays around arryte
sometimes i feel like, im d worst carer of all, got me spending a lot tho on their foods, bedding n more foods but still, the same thing happened, followed me into my dream ystrday
it s hazy now but as far as i could rmmber, i was at this shopping mall
i think it was IKEA, back in malaysia :P so yeahh, somebody scolded me cuz magically, muh rabbits were there, hopping their mischievous asses off n things were moving so fast n next thing i knew, my female rabbit was (i think) kicked by me (OH NOO!) n d male rabbit was bleeding on its neck
n again, outta nowhere, two alright cages awesomely appeared, n my female rabbit was in there, lying down, looking extra weak n dirrty T_______T hazy, hazy for a while n still seeing my weak female rabbit there n i thought it was dead n (magically, again) a drinking pet bottle popped up in my hands n so i fed her n to my surprise, she drank it all up within seconds n regained her strength n BBOOOMMM! that was it :P btw, didnkno where dafuq muh otha rabbit disappear into lol sneaky little tasty meal..
omagad these stuffs r driving me cray crayy with the aid of my college's demands *dancingdancing*
n talking about college, we are about to work on our final project n it is damn hard
have to come up with "original" ideas n blablablahh n it has to be able to fit into a milk carton so that hints us that our projects have to be technically made up that it could shrink and enlarge to two awesome but in different-sizes things *__________*
just wish me luck o earth citizens, as i need it.. or a miracle~ dangg that would be awesome...

here to stay

greetings~ :{D
well, it has been a week now im here
things are still blurry for me but yeah, they ll change later~
i hope so :P

in the plane biatchaass~ XD

juz wanna type in the highlights so far. at least for me they are :P
12 in the midnight, on 20th of jan, im officially an 18 Y/O but it didnt go as sweet as it supposed to be though
i cried in my bed cuz i was pretty much alone~ me and dad, we are not one of those close companions, and yeah~ like, i felt all lonely, quiet and cold :| plus im somewhere new, a stranger, an outsider~
well it has always been like this actually haha but for this exact moment, i dunno :O n the night after, my dad with his "brilliant idea", invited his friends to clbrte my bday at this new home.
but the sad thing was, when they were singing the HB song, got to the part where we mention the bday boy/gal's name ayy? and i think just the 3 or 4 of them who knew my name at the time n others were like "blah blaa blaahhh, hahhahhaha" =,= in a way, it is funny but it saddens as well, to me i mean T______T bt yeah, the night went on arryte i reckon~
n the otha past days, did nothing really, went shopping once~ babysat someone's children who i think for now, are my close friends =,= pffthhhhh~ i mean, how sad is that really? not to be mean n what not but yeahh, an 18 yrs old boy befriends with lil kidos, only? haha n now, all i m waiting for is to start off my Cert III at Canberra Institute of Technology later~ orientation is one the 2nd of feb and on the 6th is the official first day, insyaAllah ;)

la tahzan

*i typed this entry on the 17th of jan but didn't really post it, reason= nothing*
17th of january, 0340, still up doing nothing
just thinking :) tomorrow, 18th of january, i ll be leaving msia
joining my daddy there, btw i ve received my offer letter
alhamdulillah i got the course i wanted, it s about arts~

me at klcc, forever alone :P

but two things for sure, i ll be missing everything here
and discovering many things there, back in aussie babehh!
people hve been asking, "mesti sedih kan na pindah?" "so cane rase na blah dah?" =,= despite the sweet rudeness,, eventhough im used to moving, but that melancholic sadness always knocks on my window, and at the same time, it s exciting, why the hell wouldnt it b aite? scary, anxious, "alone" and stuffs~
homaii, rasanya smpai k pagi ah ye berjaga neh, wait, dah pagi laaa~ apalah awak ni.. :{D

spm n afterwards

what a phase has it been :) haha i have just finished my SPM!!! btw it is the biggest exam as a high school student here in malaysia~
i kinda use all the roads i had been walking thru, all the subjects that were confusing, hard to the hell and some were loved, favored as an excuse to sorta abandon-for-a-while this blog of mine :P
i can say that i am relieved now :) like finally, im outta school, which i d been longing for agess! XP people said that we will miss our schools after we are long gone, stepped into adulthood and blablahh but to think of it, i dun think i m gonna feel that much of that melancholic sadness because my family is one of those nomads :3 so i had never really strongly bonded with one particular place or people cuz yeah, it kinda annoys me when u re about to laugh and rock hard with a new atmosphere, another one is introduced and everything has to start all over again =,= but i can say i have accepted the fact and somehow embraced it :P from one view, it s kinda fun right? and in contrast, it hurts everytime as much as it hurts the first time

by now, most of my friends know imma fly back to aussie by january 2012, mid or so (another moving)
i juz wish i could stay a bit longer here, but yeah, life goes on~
wanna thank my happy tree family: the boys (howthe, qayyum, kee ian) and the gals (sabri, zati, maggie, hwee sun) for the memories :P my otha 5 Cemp classmates, friends of menjalara, i ll remember u guys~ my Don's, Azim, Ray and Adam <3 i love you bitchess~ and i mean it with all my heart haha i dunno why im making such a drama atm but yeah, in case we couldnt see each otha again before my flight, juz wantchu guys to know how thankful i am towards the acceptance :))) well, cheers for the future then! muahahahaha